Where all of my money goes to By: Holden Kodish

Where all of my money goes to

60% Rent:

A two-bed one-bath cardboard box under the local bridge doesn’t come cheap, ya know.

3% Food:

A true man eats what he hunts and hunts what he eats. And it turns out, rats taste delicious.

8% Drugs:

Has Zyrtec gone up in price recently, or is my dealer just ripping me off?

15%: The Organ Grinder Downtown

Guiseppe and his Monkey Manuel put on a hell of a show. Not to be confused with the nearby gay bar.

5% Radioactive Barrels:

A nice spot for my daily bath, with a 35% increase in chances for superpowers (and a 100% chance of obtaining cancer)

9%: Plastic Surgery.

Twice a month, I go in. Twice a month, I come out with thick thighs and wobbly knees.